Ok this is a bit of a long one, but I really need help with this one. Ok, here goes:
My mum is a property developer and my dad is a builder but has quite severe mental problems which means that he can't leave the house and doesn't trust a lot of people and therefore does not have a job. A few years back they bought their dream house which is in the middle of nowhere, no neighbours (which my dad loves). It was a shell when they bought it and my dad has been working at building an extension adding floors, new roof, windows doors, generally making it in to an amazing house that he plans to spend the rest of his life in.
He dreams of doing odd building projects for his mate who is a businessman, living off the land and staying in that house forever. My mum wants to get rich which is why she got in to the property developing business. She has four properties all with a mortgage, one being the dream house my dad lives in, two she is renting out and the rent just covers the mortgage rates, and the fourth she lives in herself since splitting with my dad.
Last year she was rushed to hospital with heart failure, now this wasn't a clot that could be removed, this was something rare where her heart shrunk and would not pump. She was transferred to harefield hospital which is the specialist heart hospital. It was a miracle that she survived and now will be classed as disabled for the rest of her life.
Whilst in hospital in a critical condition she was still trying to sort out the finances for the house but she couldn't keep it up and now she is in arrears on everything. They have increased all mortgages so she can't afford to pay them, she now has loans and credit cards which she also cant pay. All houses have decreased in value. One is 拢10,000 negative equity. One would just break even. The one she lives in would make 拢20,000 if sold but she would then have no where to live. The only way she would get out of this mess is to sell the house my dad is in but she refuses to do it because a) it will leave him homeless b) he said he would refuse to leave, and c) she fears he will commit suicide. Now whether any of these things are true or not is irrelevant. She WILL NOT sell it and there is no persuading her otherwise. Plus at the moment she cannot sell any as they are all in arrears and soon they will all be up for repossession.
She is getting disability allowance from the government but this isn't enough to cover it plus they are giving her even less because in there eyes she owns four properties so does not need the money. My dad would never seek help for his mental illness as he does not believe he has one.
The issue now is that my mum has asked me to put her house and my dads house in to my name, which would mean i take over the mortgages. This isn't because she wants to pass the buck, it's because she feels she can afford these two mortgages and by handing them to me it will also reduce the payments quite dramatically and she can then declare herself bankrupt and just concentrate on paying those. My concern is what happens if/when she can't pay them, I certainly cannot afford to pay them myself, I will go in to arrears myself and I live with my partner and his which this will affect. My partner is also totally against this idea and we have already had numerous arguments about this. I fear he will leave me if I do this as his main concern is protecting the future of his child.
What do I do? Help my mum out and risk my own livelihood or sit back, comfortable and safe whilst watching my parents fall apart?Serious problems - financial or moral advice please?
';What do I do? Help my mum out and risk my own livelihood or sit back, comfortable and safe whilst watching my parents fall apart?';
Might I say that I have the 'luxury' of hindsight of a similar situation relating to myself and my parents though not quite as complicated as the dilemma you find yourself facing - so I will pass on my hindsight view to you.
Your parents are both adults and should not expect/ask you to shoulder this awful burden they must seek other help - the CAB
will help if asked.
I realise that for a person who has such close bonds with their parents that 'not helping' seems an anathema but if you are to hold on to what you have and go forward in your own relationship then you must distance yourself from any such arrangement however hard that may be for you to do.
Believe me when I say that if you do go ahead with your mother's request and if as I suspect things go even more pear shaped you may find yourself entangled in the nightmare (that I endured) of bankruptcy proceedings where if the official receiver so decides you may end up losing everything and I do mean everything.
I know this probably flies in the face of all you have learnt in life especially about families sticking together etc. and in an ideal world I would agree, but what you are being asked to do is beyond the call of duty as you are already aware it's threatening your relationship with your own family.
So please take this suggestion on board and seek professional advice either see a solicitor or indeed the CAB sooner rather than later.
Ask me if I would do the same for my parents (again) and I would most definitely say No! but then as I said before I do have the benefit of hindsight.
Good Fortune to you..
Serious problems - financial or moral advice please?
Can you afford the mortgages, if you can, it would be a good idea.
Don't take on the mortgages this will not help anyone least of all yourself and your partner. Also as a mum your main concern and priority should be your child not your mother and so you need to protect your financial future.
it's all very sad but your mum has obviously over-stretched herself by taking on four houses and this is the consequences. if she continues to refuse to sell any of the houses including the one your dad is in she will become bankrupt and have to give them all up anyway. if her priority is your dad she needs to sell the other three, get a job, and live in rented accommodation. if she is still worried she can get free financial advice.
did she not take out PPI? This is what you use in the case of illness meaning you can't pay off the mortgage for however long and means that the insurance will cover the payments? because if she didn't I'm sorry but that was not a wise move.
good luck :-)
from what i can tell, u don't have a problem.
leave ur dad alone. his home may be his only
security blanket and sanity.
unless your mom deserves to be ignored for some reason,
help her.
if your man loves u and his family, then he will support u.
if he cares more about money than u then u r in the
wrong place anyway.
once u help ur mom, rent the homes to people who can
afford to pay the mortgage bill.
don't make the rent too expensive...perhaps just enough
to cover the bills for each house.
if your mom gets worse and can not handle things,
then have someone to rent to own or sell them.
there may be plenty of travelors who may need a place
to live while visiting your town. rent higher to them...
make it seasonal. there may be other ideas like
advertising it as a small get away for newlyweds,
anniversary celebrations, etc.
there are ways to make money on homes and there
are ways to get rid of them.
if things get too big then just sell them w no profit
just to get them off your hands.
btw = i would not suggest this, but when i was young, a friend of a family member had similar problems. the main point was that the house was fussed over in a divorce. someone thought of the fire insurance money and torched the house. when the money came, it paid the bills and the rest was split. i never forgot that.
Hey pal
You do indeed have some dilema, however i think your first loyalty is to 'your own' family unit, and i fully appreciate that you probably do have a very good relationship with your parents, but consider this.
When things where good for your parents they never considered transfering their assets into your name, and if i am to be brutally honest, i think to some degree they have become victims of their own greed, and i firmly believe that one should always try to keep a few pennies aside mindful of unforeseen eventualities.
I think that your mother needs to adopt a pragmatic approach and consider what she needs to do, which for me means selling her own property, and maybe living with yourself and your partner until she is able to acquire her own affordable property, as she is not the only person that this has happened to.
In addition to this your fathers property is also at risk so i would strongly advise that between you all you need to consider how to acquire a property that is 'realistically' sustainable, which may not be the ideal, but hey ! welcome to the real world.
Your partner is not only considering your childs future, i think he is doing what any man should do which is to consider his family 'first' in which i see no wrong, as when family is involved we tend to make decisions of the heart where business is concerned which is always a very risky proposition (excusing any pun).
Finally, maybe rather than worrying about keeping up appearances, they should consider the fact that the greatest wealth we have is indeed our health.
I think unless your mother takes effective and appropriate action she may well loose everything, so i think this one is an exercise of damage limitation, and i wish your family the best of luck.
ps i am also a great believer in that 'the best lessons for life are the most painful'
First of all I am sorry to hear of all the issues that you have presented here. You must realize that you neither caused them, nor can you cure them. How great it would be to just put a house and mortgage in your name but bankruptcy laws don't work that way. They trace back distribution of assets and what you think of ';bailing them out'; will put you in some serious legal trouble (fraud) as the courts realize what you've done. You are not the answer to their problems. They have become over extended with debts and conditions have changed for them. Medical disability is a valid cause for bankruptcy but does not allow people to keep homes and cars and boats and all kinds of assets which creditors write off the amounts and take losses. You surely can understand that on a legal and business issue. You must bow out of the offer. This is up to your parents to figure out and with an attorney, not with a bunch of Yahoos, pardon the pun.
If your Mom and/or parents file bankruptcy, the finances will be out of their hands. It's pretty much guaranteed that they will have to sell or foreclosure on the property (or more than one) so I'm sorry to say the dream house, dream job, and dream life is now just that... a dream. It's important to live within their means now. This may mean special subsidized housing options or moving in with you or ... I cannot answer their future but they have to realize that YOU can't either.
You have to watch out for you, my dear friend. You didn't cause the problems and you surely can't cure them. It's time for an attorney, financial counselor, emotional counselor, government assistance or whatever it takes to keep your parents from living in a cardboard box but making certain that YOU don't end up in your box or prison cell.
Sorry to be blunt and not have the answer you were looking for.
I do not think transferring the mortgages to you is the appropriate choice. Has she tried refinancing the mortgages? According to your numbers, if she could sell all three of the houses, she'd come out 10,000 ahead. Letting her move in with you sounds better than taking over her mortgages.
What a complicated nightmare you are in. Sorry can't offer financial advice but have you sat down and spoken to your mum about your worries. Do you have any siblings or other close relatives you could share this burden with. Or are there any close friends of your parents you could talk to, it sounds like it would be a lot easier if your dad got help, could you speak to a doctor about him and get advice. Sorry not much help really but didn't want to read and run.
Sue xx
UK? Do not allow her to transfer the houses into yours and your dad's name, if she is going to file for bankruptcy. It is a criminal offence to get rid of property before bankruptcy. You, your dad and your mum could find yourselves in a lot of trouble. To be fair, these are not your debts and you haven't helped her to get into the state she is in now. I can understand your concerns, as she is your mum and you don't want to see her go under. What she is talking about above is not the way to go about it. She has to address the problems herself. I can see your partner's point of view here and I'm afraid there is some tough love for you to administer to your mum. In answer to one of your last questions, I'm afraid that you must let her do this herself, with support from you and the family. You cannot risk your livelihood and your own relationship for someone else's muddle. Make an appointment to see a specialist adviser at the CAB before you do anything else. You can find the link below to the public CAB site to find your nearest one and you may like to look at the PDF which is also on the site which I have put the link in for too. The CAB may also be able to find some support and help for your Dad too. Please can you keep us updated on your descision. We would like to continue to support you in this.
way to much to read sweetheart but i do have advice for a financial situation. VOTE FOR OBAMA
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Guy problems...really need some advice?
Firstly I have to say sorry to you unfortunate readers: this is one heck of a long story but I can鈥檛 shorten it because I鈥檒l keep getting people asking for more info which is a lil鈥?bit annoying. I hope you read it all the way through and can help me. Thanks in advance and God bless XXX
Okay, so I鈥檓 going to sound like one of those girls stressing out about guys but this isn鈥檛 JUST any guy, he鈥檚 a best friend. Here we go:
There鈥檚 this guy who I鈥檝e been friends with for about 5-ish years. We鈥檝e always been really close and been there for each other like nobody else ever has been for us before (he said that to me). Anyways here鈥檚 my dirty lil鈥?secret (as if u don鈥檛 already know): I am falling in love with him.
飪?The more time I spend with him, the more I want to kiss him
飪?the more I want to kiss him the less I want to be near him鈥ot because I don鈥檛 like him but because I don鈥檛 want to be one of THOSE GIRLS (you know the ones, who corrupt nice guys and turn them into man whore鈥檚 and steal other girls boyfriends)
because yes, he does have a girlfriend and I know that he would never cheat on any girl that he is dating because he is so loyal and trustworthy to everybody, he鈥檚 a truly amazing guy; so why, you ask am I even thinking about him romantically when he鈥檚 dating somebody and when we are such good friends that I wouldn鈥檛 want to risk the friendship鈥? but the thing is that as much as I want to convince myself there can NEVER be anything more than friendship between us the more he melts my heart and makes me fall in love with him. I have a real problem trusting people, especially guys~ he is the only guy who鈥檚 been able to gain my trust and to make me think about him even when I know I shouldn鈥檛.
the thing is, we constantly flirt with each other and spend WAY too much time together, any time we have spare we will normally be hanging out and having a laugh and if we can鈥檛 meet up then we talk on msn or at least are leaving lil鈥?text messages for each other. He鈥檚 a really huggy guy, which is great because I鈥檓 a really huggy gal ~ it鈥檚 kind of just how I am. He鈥檚 always grabbing hold of me or putting his arms round me, we are always using each others as pillows and stuff, always having tickle fights (lol I know how immature that sounds but oh well) and tonight when I got lost walking to a place 陆 between our houses in the dark he came and found me and he kept joking (at least I think he was joking) about taking me into the bushes (we were in a forest in the dark) and stuff: its just what we do, lol. Lately he keeps picking me up a lot and dropping on the sofa or bed or wherever we are and kind of falling onto me and pretending like he鈥檚 asleep which is quite funny mostly (hee hee). And whenever we have staring contests we always end up head to head staring into each others eyes (which are annoying because he always win as I HAVE to look away). we can talk for hours on end and never run out of things to say (unless we鈥檙e tired, but then we just send smileys) I鈥檓 even talking to him now at 12:30 am as I write this鈥 REALLY DON鈥橳 KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! HOW DO I GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND????
I know we sound extremely child-ish but we just love to mess around and act like little kids.
I pray to god to tell me what to do and make this ache in my heart go away but as yet I am having no luck鈥?br>
Two more quick things:
1) I can鈥檛 start seeing less of him because he鈥檒l think something is wrong and get upset/depressed (this happened last time I tried to stop seeing him so much)
2) We are both live in the UK (if that matters)Guy problems...really need some advice?
Please don't do this to his girlfriend. My ex-fiance was exactly as you described your friend. He helped a gal with her car problems and started going out on movie/meal dates with her, and even allowed her to stay overnights at his place, all in the name of friendship, of course. What I don't understand is how he can rationalise to keep the friendship from me for 3+ years. So please spare a thought for his girlfriend and be fair to her. Talk to him about it, and if he feels the same way about you, he should do the gentlemanly thing and break it off with his girlfriend as soon as he can. It hurt me so bad to find out what my ex was doing behind my back, all the time enjoying himself and not sparing a thought for my feelings.Guy problems...really need some advice?
ok you are in a rough situation i have that very close situation going on. but what i would do is let him make the first move. because if he does not ask u out he just does not feel the same way. do not ask him out let him ask u because 1 time i asked my friend out and he said yes and a couple days later we broke up and did not talk to me as much as he used to which really broke me down. just be really carefull with this. good luck i hope i helped.lipstick kiss
Okay, so I鈥檓 going to sound like one of those girls stressing out about guys but this isn鈥檛 JUST any guy, he鈥檚 a best friend. Here we go:
There鈥檚 this guy who I鈥檝e been friends with for about 5-ish years. We鈥檝e always been really close and been there for each other like nobody else ever has been for us before (he said that to me). Anyways here鈥檚 my dirty lil鈥?secret (as if u don鈥檛 already know): I am falling in love with him.
飪?The more time I spend with him, the more I want to kiss him
飪?the more I want to kiss him the less I want to be near him鈥ot because I don鈥檛 like him but because I don鈥檛 want to be one of THOSE GIRLS (you know the ones, who corrupt nice guys and turn them into man whore鈥檚 and steal other girls boyfriends)
because yes, he does have a girlfriend and I know that he would never cheat on any girl that he is dating because he is so loyal and trustworthy to everybody, he鈥檚 a truly amazing guy; so why, you ask am I even thinking about him romantically when he鈥檚 dating somebody and when we are such good friends that I wouldn鈥檛 want to risk the friendship鈥? but the thing is that as much as I want to convince myself there can NEVER be anything more than friendship between us the more he melts my heart and makes me fall in love with him. I have a real problem trusting people, especially guys~ he is the only guy who鈥檚 been able to gain my trust and to make me think about him even when I know I shouldn鈥檛.
the thing is, we constantly flirt with each other and spend WAY too much time together, any time we have spare we will normally be hanging out and having a laugh and if we can鈥檛 meet up then we talk on msn or at least are leaving lil鈥?text messages for each other. He鈥檚 a really huggy guy, which is great because I鈥檓 a really huggy gal ~ it鈥檚 kind of just how I am. He鈥檚 always grabbing hold of me or putting his arms round me, we are always using each others as pillows and stuff, always having tickle fights (lol I know how immature that sounds but oh well) and tonight when I got lost walking to a place 陆 between our houses in the dark he came and found me and he kept joking (at least I think he was joking) about taking me into the bushes (we were in a forest in the dark) and stuff: its just what we do, lol. Lately he keeps picking me up a lot and dropping on the sofa or bed or wherever we are and kind of falling onto me and pretending like he鈥檚 asleep which is quite funny mostly (hee hee). And whenever we have staring contests we always end up head to head staring into each others eyes (which are annoying because he always win as I HAVE to look away). we can talk for hours on end and never run out of things to say (unless we鈥檙e tired, but then we just send smileys) I鈥檓 even talking to him now at 12:30 am as I write this鈥 REALLY DON鈥橳 KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! HOW DO I GET HIM OUT OF MY MIND????
I know we sound extremely child-ish but we just love to mess around and act like little kids.
I pray to god to tell me what to do and make this ache in my heart go away but as yet I am having no luck鈥?br>
Two more quick things:
1) I can鈥檛 start seeing less of him because he鈥檒l think something is wrong and get upset/depressed (this happened last time I tried to stop seeing him so much)
2) We are both live in the UK (if that matters)Guy problems...really need some advice?
Please don't do this to his girlfriend. My ex-fiance was exactly as you described your friend. He helped a gal with her car problems and started going out on movie/meal dates with her, and even allowed her to stay overnights at his place, all in the name of friendship, of course. What I don't understand is how he can rationalise to keep the friendship from me for 3+ years. So please spare a thought for his girlfriend and be fair to her. Talk to him about it, and if he feels the same way about you, he should do the gentlemanly thing and break it off with his girlfriend as soon as he can. It hurt me so bad to find out what my ex was doing behind my back, all the time enjoying himself and not sparing a thought for my feelings.Guy problems...really need some advice?
ok you are in a rough situation i have that very close situation going on. but what i would do is let him make the first move. because if he does not ask u out he just does not feel the same way. do not ask him out let him ask u because 1 time i asked my friend out and he said yes and a couple days later we broke up and did not talk to me as much as he used to which really broke me down. just be really carefull with this. good luck i hope i helped.
Boy problems and family/relationship advice?
so, i've been talking to this boy now for about a month and a half, and he has become my FRIEND. and obviously, if you have a really good friend, you'd talk to them a lot, whether it's a boy or a girl. so, i've been talking to him a lot, about other boys for me or other girls for him and a lot of other random stuff. well,my family and my friends all think that i like him and he likes me back, but we REALLY and SERIOUSLY don't like each other like that.
like i said earlier, everyone thinks that we like each other, but this is ruining my rep and i don't like what people are thinking of me right now. even parents and kids think it.
so, anyway, how do i get everyone to realize that i don't have romantic feelings for him and that i just like to talk to him because he's good company.?Boy problems and family/relationship advice?
Tell people the truth. You sound pretty mature so Why would you lie about that?Boy problems and family/relationship advice?
idk i guess jus continue to b his friend n tell the guy u like that u guys r jus friend and there is nothin btween u guys try to convince ur parents that this guy is jus a friend to u r probably he is such a nice guy that they would want u to b w/ him ever think of that? but try to convince them that u two r only friends since u dont like him like that
like i said earlier, everyone thinks that we like each other, but this is ruining my rep and i don't like what people are thinking of me right now. even parents and kids think it.
so, anyway, how do i get everyone to realize that i don't have romantic feelings for him and that i just like to talk to him because he's good company.?Boy problems and family/relationship advice?
Tell people the truth. You sound pretty mature so Why would you lie about that?Boy problems and family/relationship advice?
idk i guess jus continue to b his friend n tell the guy u like that u guys r jus friend and there is nothin btween u guys try to convince ur parents that this guy is jus a friend to u r probably he is such a nice guy that they would want u to b w/ him ever think of that? but try to convince them that u two r only friends since u dont like him like that
BF problems....PLEASE HELP!!!! NEED ADVICE!!!?
so my bf of 2 years found out yesterday that i cheated on him in march while he was in cancun on spring break in he was really upset about it and was calling me a hoe and nasty...but after about an hour he calmed down apologized and told me he still wanted to be with me...however thru out our two yrs we have had an extreme amount of probs concerning him trusting me and me lying i do admit that i have lied to him about certain things and have only come clean after finding out that he had proof that i lied to him. However regardless of my mistakes i still love him and have now told him the complete truth about my skeletons and wish to continue our relationship i just dont know if that would be the smart thing to do. although i'm sure that he loves me isnt it possible that he will cheat on me now that he knows the truth about the things i've done???? Am i suppose to take that risk and be with him anyway hoping he won't do that or let it go and move on????? I really do love him hes my heart and i know that i've made mistakes...but i cant imagine being without him. But is that honestly the smart thing to do or am i suppose to risk my feelings now because hes already risked his?????I just need some advice!!!! please help!!!!BF problems....PLEASE HELP!!!! NEED ADVICE!!!?
SIMPLY PUT:
You're an irritating self absorbed cheater.
He's done nothing wrong. You're wrong.
Be a better human.BF problems....PLEASE HELP!!!! NEED ADVICE!!!?
If you love him then you just have to take that risk. A relationship should be based on honesty, lies are never a good thing to have in any kind of relationship especially with a bf/gf. If he truly loves you and is a good person then he won't make the move of cheating on you just because you cheated on him. I really hope you two can work it out, best of luck to you.
If he really wants to be with you that probably means he will not cheat on you and forget about the past and only think about the future, unless he is that kind of boy who like to get revenge then do not take the risk do not go out with him.
You're never going to know if he'll be completely faithful from now on. You really screwed up when you decided to treat him like dirt and cheat on him. If it was me, you'd be gone as fast as I could get rid of you, but I guess he's different. You may want to worry.
Well your the one that messed up.
If he wants to be with you, and you still want to be with him, you can try it.
But you cannot expect him to trust you, it will take a long time to earn that back,
you need to give him the trust that he cant put in you because he deserves at least that much. Just because you cheated doesnt mean that he is going to maybe he has better morals than you and you need to get them fast or you will lose him
If he loves you as much as he says he does and will take you back after what you've done most likely he loves you as much as he says he does you should give it another try you are just regretting what you have done
Sorry, but I don't think you really love him. If you honestly loved him you would never ever cheat on him. Now that he knows, he might cheat on you. Unless, he really really loves you.
He most likely will cheat. He doesn't trust you anymore and he probably never will, so this is definitely not the last of your fights. If you can get out of it, do so before you both wind up with terrible heartache.
YOU cheated on him and YOUR worried HE'LL do the same!? are you actually reading what you just wrote. i think he should leave you because by the sounds of it you dont appreciate him much and so you dont deserve him.
awh! He agreed to stay with you even when you cheated on him?
and you went and did it AGAIN?
oh my
you're a terrible person
i say you let him go!
He sounds too nice to cheat on you, he's not that LOW.
if you cheated on him, leave the option to continue or end the relationship to him.
personally, i think you guys should go your own ways.
move to novascotia and marry the guy selling chikens and tell him that u have a orange to talk about hell have all the answers...
Usually people who cheat aren't in love. You should ask yourself if you want to continue this cycle of distrust and lies, or move on and find yourself?
sounds liek you both need to sit down for a looooong talk, but doesnt sound like this relationship is going to last very long... sorry but good luck
YOU cheated on HIM and YOU are saying you should leave...? No, if anyone makes the decisions to leave or not (when you love him) it is HIM who ONLY has the right...
U are so stupid. If u love him so much then why did u cheat on him. U should probably just forget about it and move on. But keep dating him and just enjoy yourself.
just because you were a cheating liar doesn't mean he will be one as well. he sounds like a really good guy.
you're lucky he still talks to you.
you're rotten.
It depends on how much you trust him.
HELL PIERCE UR CLIT AND SWALLOW THAT LOAD AFTER HE STICKS U IN THE ***!!!THEN LET ANOTHER ***** **** HIM IN FRONT OF U!THEN U R EVEN AND **** ON HIM!NO PROBLEM 4 THE ADVICE ITS FREE LIKE U ***
stay with him
do what's fair, he deserves answers....
HAhah, I think that this is the classic example of major problems in our society. Everyone assumes that everyone else would behave in the same manner as them when they get the chance. Therefore you get immoral people behaving immorally and justifying it by saying everyone else would do it to if they had the chance....the opposite applies, most people who guide their lives with a strong set of morals must believe that deep down everyone else is moraly strong as well, but just need to be trusted to do the right thing.....classic case
oh yeah btw
SHUT UP
Seriously, there is no reason he would cheat on him. but if he did, then you would just have to deal with it......I like the person who said:
Be a better human.
thats funny.
I am one who has been lied to and cheated on. One or the other several times over the past 4 years. I hold on in hopes that he truly loves me enough to stop. I have never cheated on him not once. What he does, does not change who I am as a person. I am not a liar or cheater. I am completely committed to him. I'm not sure he will ever change. As my time with him continues, so does the lies and the women. I am now just about done with this relationship. He has virtually destroyed all that we ever had. We can't hardly talk, we hardly have any intimacy and when we do, its not right for me. Sometimes I can hardly stand to look at him. I cry every night. Sadly our relationship is not ending because of what he has done, it's ending because of what he hasn't been able to do.... be truly sorry for the pain he has caused me and STOP DOING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN... He says he loves me, and I am all he's ever dreamed of wanting, yet when he wants... it's not always me that he wants... and I DESERVE THAT !!!
If you're going to break up with him, it should be because you love him enough to be honest with yourself and him, and realize you cannot be absolutely positive that you can stop lying and cheating. HE DESERVES BETTER THAN THAT. If you truly love him like you claim... then you shouldn't LIE OR CHEAT on him. This is why people say love hurts.... but it's not supposed to and really doesn't have to. Either be truly sorry and stop !!!! or let him go to find happiness with someone who deserves him and will treat him the way he deserves to be treated !!!! Don't break up with him because you're afraid of being cheated on. If you got cheated on... you deserve it... the only thing is, it could never hurt you like it hurt him. Even if it's not him that cheats on you ... unless you're lucky enough to keep him forever... eventually what comes around goes around.... Maybe if you stop now... maybe, just maybe you won't have to suffer the pain you have dished out !!!!
If you love someone you dont cheat on them.So I dont really understand why you did.IUnless you are unhappy deep down inside with the relationship, the issue still lies with you, not him as you felt the need to cheat on him.A man will never trust a woman who has done this and it will blaken your relationship forever.Time will get him to trust you again if thats what he wants.And being honest with him every time...even if it means you being a little out of sorts or uncomfortable, this is all anyone deserves in a relationship.You cannot make him trust you.It has to be his decison whether he can or not.
SIMPLY PUT:
You're an irritating self absorbed cheater.
He's done nothing wrong. You're wrong.
Be a better human.BF problems....PLEASE HELP!!!! NEED ADVICE!!!?
If you love him then you just have to take that risk. A relationship should be based on honesty, lies are never a good thing to have in any kind of relationship especially with a bf/gf. If he truly loves you and is a good person then he won't make the move of cheating on you just because you cheated on him. I really hope you two can work it out, best of luck to you.
If he really wants to be with you that probably means he will not cheat on you and forget about the past and only think about the future, unless he is that kind of boy who like to get revenge then do not take the risk do not go out with him.
You're never going to know if he'll be completely faithful from now on. You really screwed up when you decided to treat him like dirt and cheat on him. If it was me, you'd be gone as fast as I could get rid of you, but I guess he's different. You may want to worry.
Well your the one that messed up.
If he wants to be with you, and you still want to be with him, you can try it.
But you cannot expect him to trust you, it will take a long time to earn that back,
you need to give him the trust that he cant put in you because he deserves at least that much. Just because you cheated doesnt mean that he is going to maybe he has better morals than you and you need to get them fast or you will lose him
If he loves you as much as he says he does and will take you back after what you've done most likely he loves you as much as he says he does you should give it another try you are just regretting what you have done
Sorry, but I don't think you really love him. If you honestly loved him you would never ever cheat on him. Now that he knows, he might cheat on you. Unless, he really really loves you.
He most likely will cheat. He doesn't trust you anymore and he probably never will, so this is definitely not the last of your fights. If you can get out of it, do so before you both wind up with terrible heartache.
YOU cheated on him and YOUR worried HE'LL do the same!? are you actually reading what you just wrote. i think he should leave you because by the sounds of it you dont appreciate him much and so you dont deserve him.
awh! He agreed to stay with you even when you cheated on him?
and you went and did it AGAIN?
oh my
you're a terrible person
i say you let him go!
He sounds too nice to cheat on you, he's not that LOW.
if you cheated on him, leave the option to continue or end the relationship to him.
personally, i think you guys should go your own ways.
move to novascotia and marry the guy selling chikens and tell him that u have a orange to talk about hell have all the answers...
Usually people who cheat aren't in love. You should ask yourself if you want to continue this cycle of distrust and lies, or move on and find yourself?
sounds liek you both need to sit down for a looooong talk, but doesnt sound like this relationship is going to last very long... sorry but good luck
YOU cheated on HIM and YOU are saying you should leave...? No, if anyone makes the decisions to leave or not (when you love him) it is HIM who ONLY has the right...
U are so stupid. If u love him so much then why did u cheat on him. U should probably just forget about it and move on. But keep dating him and just enjoy yourself.
just because you were a cheating liar doesn't mean he will be one as well. he sounds like a really good guy.
you're lucky he still talks to you.
you're rotten.
It depends on how much you trust him.
HELL PIERCE UR CLIT AND SWALLOW THAT LOAD AFTER HE STICKS U IN THE ***!!!THEN LET ANOTHER ***** **** HIM IN FRONT OF U!THEN U R EVEN AND **** ON HIM!NO PROBLEM 4 THE ADVICE ITS FREE LIKE U ***
stay with him
do what's fair, he deserves answers....
HAhah, I think that this is the classic example of major problems in our society. Everyone assumes that everyone else would behave in the same manner as them when they get the chance. Therefore you get immoral people behaving immorally and justifying it by saying everyone else would do it to if they had the chance....the opposite applies, most people who guide their lives with a strong set of morals must believe that deep down everyone else is moraly strong as well, but just need to be trusted to do the right thing.....classic case
oh yeah btw
SHUT UP
Seriously, there is no reason he would cheat on him. but if he did, then you would just have to deal with it......I like the person who said:
Be a better human.
thats funny.
I am one who has been lied to and cheated on. One or the other several times over the past 4 years. I hold on in hopes that he truly loves me enough to stop. I have never cheated on him not once. What he does, does not change who I am as a person. I am not a liar or cheater. I am completely committed to him. I'm not sure he will ever change. As my time with him continues, so does the lies and the women. I am now just about done with this relationship. He has virtually destroyed all that we ever had. We can't hardly talk, we hardly have any intimacy and when we do, its not right for me. Sometimes I can hardly stand to look at him. I cry every night. Sadly our relationship is not ending because of what he has done, it's ending because of what he hasn't been able to do.... be truly sorry for the pain he has caused me and STOP DOING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN... He says he loves me, and I am all he's ever dreamed of wanting, yet when he wants... it's not always me that he wants... and I DESERVE THAT !!!
If you're going to break up with him, it should be because you love him enough to be honest with yourself and him, and realize you cannot be absolutely positive that you can stop lying and cheating. HE DESERVES BETTER THAN THAT. If you truly love him like you claim... then you shouldn't LIE OR CHEAT on him. This is why people say love hurts.... but it's not supposed to and really doesn't have to. Either be truly sorry and stop !!!! or let him go to find happiness with someone who deserves him and will treat him the way he deserves to be treated !!!! Don't break up with him because you're afraid of being cheated on. If you got cheated on... you deserve it... the only thing is, it could never hurt you like it hurt him. Even if it's not him that cheats on you ... unless you're lucky enough to keep him forever... eventually what comes around goes around.... Maybe if you stop now... maybe, just maybe you won't have to suffer the pain you have dished out !!!!
If you love someone you dont cheat on them.So I dont really understand why you did.IUnless you are unhappy deep down inside with the relationship, the issue still lies with you, not him as you felt the need to cheat on him.A man will never trust a woman who has done this and it will blaken your relationship forever.Time will get him to trust you again if thats what he wants.And being honest with him every time...even if it means you being a little out of sorts or uncomfortable, this is all anyone deserves in a relationship.You cannot make him trust you.It has to be his decison whether he can or not.
Girl problems need a girls advice would u do this if u liked a guy?
ok so my sister have this friend and we went out to eat and she was working there i dint say hardly anything to her. she asked me if i wanted a reese peanut cup and of course i said yes who would not want one. then the next we were at church and we started talking for a while and then i saw her passing a note back and forth with a friend and then every now and then they would look at me. then this week during worship and the whole service she kept looking at me at different times so i just wanted to know if u guys think she likes me and plz don't say just ask her cause im a shy guy and that is very hard for me to doGirl problems need a girls advice would u do this if u liked a guy?
yea she likes u but shes scared to show it
yea she likes u but shes scared to show it
Relationship problems? please help,any advice?
ok so my boyfriend and i got into this huge argument about me not opening up to him,and he said it upsets him so very much and after he thought things through this is what he saidd...
'; I Realize Many Things Now And I Realize That If I Dnt Get Over It Than Itl Neuer Work Out So Il Just Accept The Fact That Wer 2 Dif Ppl And Thats The Way It Is I Had 2 Choices 0ne Was That I Can Say **** It And Walk Away From You 0r I Can Just Accept Who You Are And Stay With You And Just Be Happy So I Choose To Stay With You And Quit Being Selfish Cuz Babe I Love You With All My Heart And I Want Every Experiance To Be With U And I Know I Just Gota Wait 4 The Time You Want To Do Them =] Ily Babe';
Was some part of it rude? we talked things through and were now happy,but do you find anything wrong in this? or messed up?Relationship problems? please help,any advice?
Well I wouldn't say that it was rude but I do think that it was kinda unnecessary for him to say that.. But no not really anything wrong with it.
'; I Realize Many Things Now And I Realize That If I Dnt Get Over It Than Itl Neuer Work Out So Il Just Accept The Fact That Wer 2 Dif Ppl And Thats The Way It Is I Had 2 Choices 0ne Was That I Can Say **** It And Walk Away From You 0r I Can Just Accept Who You Are And Stay With You And Just Be Happy So I Choose To Stay With You And Quit Being Selfish Cuz Babe I Love You With All My Heart And I Want Every Experiance To Be With U And I Know I Just Gota Wait 4 The Time You Want To Do Them =] Ily Babe';
Was some part of it rude? we talked things through and were now happy,but do you find anything wrong in this? or messed up?Relationship problems? please help,any advice?
Well I wouldn't say that it was rude but I do think that it was kinda unnecessary for him to say that.. But no not really anything wrong with it.
Boyfriend problems. i need some advice please?
ok so i have been with this guy over a month now. I like him a lot! Recently he went away for a month to visit his family. We hung out a few times before he went away and it was amazing! Now that he is gone we txt all the time and we have real conversations over txt. He has been away for about a week and a half but still hasnt called me. What does this mean? Does he want me to call him? Does he even want to talk to me over the phone? Im confused. what should i do?Boyfriend problems. i need some advice please?
relax sometimes guys need a little push. Call him, and talk about a conversation over your text messages. Then tell him you have missed hearing his voice and it would be nice if you could talk more often, ask him to call you tomorrow night. good luck!Boyfriend problems. i need some advice please?
This is your boyfriend? If he hasn't called you or talked to you in a week and a half, you need to confront him. Call him, and see what the deal is. It seems like the two of you were having a great time before this started to happen, so see what is going on. Maybe he is busy or something, or his phone broke, but seriously, a week and half of no communication? There really isn't a very good excuse for that, especially when there is down time during the day. Call him and see what is going on, but try to act like you're not too torn up over it. You don't want it to seem like he has the upper hand in the relationship. Just be cool about it, and if it continues, then maybe it is time to find somebody better.
Best of luck!
You should called him, and see what's up and then wait it out. Its not like you popped off the face of the earth. Every-time he looks in his contacts he has to sees your name and number, so if he isn't calling then he doesn't want to talk. The best thing would be to call him, and just ask him how's he doing, and what he's been up tp lately...if he just be like nothing happen...then you just wait it out, he's probably having real fun with his family. If hes staying for a month, thin he's probably catching up.
he could be one of those people that just like to text. my one friend doesn't even talk to his girfriend of i think almost a year on the phone lol, hes just a texter.
or maybe ur guy has unlimited texting and not many free minutes
As long as he is texting you ';all the time'; why worry about it. Maybe he has unlimited texts, but calls will cost. That is the way with my family's phones.
its no big deal if you really want to talk to him call him
call him!
relax sometimes guys need a little push. Call him, and talk about a conversation over your text messages. Then tell him you have missed hearing his voice and it would be nice if you could talk more often, ask him to call you tomorrow night. good luck!Boyfriend problems. i need some advice please?
This is your boyfriend? If he hasn't called you or talked to you in a week and a half, you need to confront him. Call him, and see what the deal is. It seems like the two of you were having a great time before this started to happen, so see what is going on. Maybe he is busy or something, or his phone broke, but seriously, a week and half of no communication? There really isn't a very good excuse for that, especially when there is down time during the day. Call him and see what is going on, but try to act like you're not too torn up over it. You don't want it to seem like he has the upper hand in the relationship. Just be cool about it, and if it continues, then maybe it is time to find somebody better.
Best of luck!
You should called him, and see what's up and then wait it out. Its not like you popped off the face of the earth. Every-time he looks in his contacts he has to sees your name and number, so if he isn't calling then he doesn't want to talk. The best thing would be to call him, and just ask him how's he doing, and what he's been up tp lately...if he just be like nothing happen...then you just wait it out, he's probably having real fun with his family. If hes staying for a month, thin he's probably catching up.
he could be one of those people that just like to text. my one friend doesn't even talk to his girfriend of i think almost a year on the phone lol, hes just a texter.
or maybe ur guy has unlimited texting and not many free minutes
As long as he is texting you ';all the time'; why worry about it. Maybe he has unlimited texts, but calls will cost. That is the way with my family's phones.
its no big deal if you really want to talk to him call him
call him!
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