Roommate problems. Can anyone offer advice, please?

I am a university student who recently moved into an apartment with two friends from my dorm. Let's call them Jane and Sally. I found this beautiful apartment with wonderful landlords and I had to have it. Jane and Sally, being friends, agreed to move in with me. But before they did, I mentioned I was going to foster dogs for the local shelter. And they both agreed to it. Also before signing the lease, Jane mentioned that she was buying a cat. I told her I was fine with it so long as the cat would be her complete responsibility. We moved into the apartment a few months ago and problems arose. I was fostering a dog (German Shepherd/Bulldog Mix) and my roommates were fine with it. He was an extremely quiet and gentle dog. Most of the time he sat around the house doing nothing or was off in a corner chewing on his rawhide bone. The Smart dog he was, understood that I was his caretaker and completely ignored Jane and Sally. The way they liked it. He shed a lot so I always vacuumed the entire house weekly as he was my responsibility. So I didn't think too much of it. However, one day I received a phone call from the shelter saying they had received an email from Jane's mother saying that the dog was ';aggressive and violent, would bite and attack people.'; The email also went to say that I was ';a bad foster parent and gave no choice in the matter to Jane or Sally.'; They were ';trapped with a vicious dog.'; Usually, I stay far away from confrontation. But this email was not only an attack on my personality, but the innocent dog's personality. I was livid when I got back to the apartment so I decided to take the dog for a walk first, calm myself down and then talk to Jane. After about an hour, when I was feeling a little more calm, I returned home and confronted Jane. I did not raise my voice, but I maintained a serious tone. I told her I felt hurt and betrayed. And I asked her why her mother would send such an email. She responded by mentioning the kitten she was about to purchase from a breeder and said that the kitten needed time to settle in without a dog. To which I told her that if she had a problem, she should have talked to me directly instead of going behind my back. At which point she had a panic attack and ran out of the room. When she came back, I tried to apologize for giving her a panic attack but she screamed, ';DON'T APOLOGIZE! IT MAKES IT WORSE!'; And retreated to her room. This left Sally to explain Jane's insecurities and reasons. And because I was brought to understand that the kitten NEEDED to settle in without a dog present, I agreed that if he didn't find a permanent home within a week of the kitten's arrival, I would send him to another foster home. Unfortunately I had to send him back only to find out that Jane was lying about the kitten's arrival date, claiming that the kitten was arriving at the beginning of the month but later retracting the statement - after the dog had left - saying she was unsure. So, I became upset about sending the dog back prematurely. However, I did make an agreement, and I continue to stick to it. But at the same time, I feel that Jane made an agreement about letting me foster a dog, but yet she does not stand by her word.





On top of the dog issue, Jane and Sally are messy people. They constantly leave dirty dishes in the sink, dirty pots on the stove, hair all over the bathroom floor and then some. I suggested making a chore chart and they agreed. However, when it was their turn to do chores, they never did. I was stuck cleaning up after them. Eventually, I stopped and I only cleaned up after myself, thinking that if I let the mess accumulate they might notice and take initiative. They didn't. So having exhausted those means, I decided to leave post-it notes whenever I saw a mess that needed cleaning up. Juvenile, but it got the point across since talking and asking were doing no good. However, Jane and Sally (understandably) got upset about the post-its to which I mentioned that I was upset about a mess. They told me I was being juvenile and they were upset at me. Even still I stood my ground and said that I did not want to be the only one cleaning up the house. They both promptly walked away and the matter has yet to come to a solid conclusion.





Through this letter, it appears I find Jane more of a problem than Sally, however, Sally always defends Jane. I feel outnumbered. And because of that, I often feel that I am wrong or unreasonable. Simply because I am not in the majority. Even worse, Jane and Sally mention all our problems to our friends. I want to ask them to stop, but how can I without being accusatory? Even if I don't like Sally and Jane very much at the moment, we still share a circle of friends and it's a very fragile and delicate balance. My other friends are nice enough to ignore what Jane and Sally say, but it's the principle of the matter. I don't like to talk behind Jane and Sally's backs, especially not to mutual friends. Because it's not theRoommate problems. Can anyone offer advice, please?
It appear that being roomates is tearing your friendship apart and the animal situation isnt helping any. First whoevers name is listed as primary signer on the lease has control here and whatever agreements are made between the three of you definitely needs to be in writing and signed by those directly involved. If the apt is yours then I would say you need to find some new roomates as this live-in situation is boardering on a disaster. Too much damage done now to be corrected. You cannot live your life by what you think your friends think or will say as this is none of their business anyway. Life isnt always easy and hardly goes as planned. So take control of this situation and tell your roomies they either agree or they can find other living arrangements. Good luckRoommate problems. Can anyone offer advice, please?
Ummmm. Sounds like the perfect dog, raising my suspicions. Are you sure there wasn't something more going on? Arthur's right--perhaps you should pursue a more solitary living arrangement.

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Um... if it really bothers you, move out. Jane and Sally don't really sound like people you can talk it out with.
Look, People like that don't deserve to be in an appartment, They deserve to be locked up in the loony bin.





If they are that insecure that they would tell there mothers to send a provocative email to a dog shelter about one of their cares just because the mothers daughter wanted a kitten and it ';Needs'; to settle down without a dog there, Even though the dog hardly does anything is appalling.





In my opinion, You should either kick them out, Or find another place.





Buts thats just my opinion.
Transfer the lease for the apartment to Jane or Sally. Move out. Get a smaller place for yourself without roommates.
First mistake college students make i know.. i did the same.. and you don't want to hear this but get it in writing.. your screwed on everytihng... i'm sorry to say... I suggest finding new places to hang out and find new friends for the last part.. i really can't say much just that talking to them isn't going to help i know those type of girls and its like fighting a storm your not going to win.. just keep your head up high that dog will find a nice home and at the end of this you will 2
Yes, you're being very juvenile. Either accept your roommates or move back into the dorms I guess. You can't have everything.

Boy Problems/commitment.. need some advice..?

My ex boyfriend ( who is my first love) is sending all kinds of mixed signals to me. He also suffers from depression so that causes most of it. We have been broken up for about 6 months now. But we still have been talking through out. We have had a few nights of ';hanging out'; lately. Last was about 4 days ago. He wanted to see my halloween costume we ended up laying in his bed, without clothes messing around and then just talked. He said that it was really nice. that he likes having me there next to him at night.. and its also nice to be comfortable physically and mentally with someone so much that you can just lay there naked and not worry about it. He just saying things how he didnt want the night to end. didnt want me to go home, and then gave me some clothes to wear so i didnt have to put my costume back on.. Over all it was a good night. But i dont know if it thats all it was.. just that night. I want it to be more, and him back. But idn if he feels the same. What do you think?Boy Problems/commitment.. need some advice..?
I THINK HE JUST FELT LONELY AND USED YOU FOR THE NIGHT. MAKE THINGS FINAL WITH HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL AND STOP BEING THERE EVERY TIME HE CALLS.Boy Problems/commitment.. need some advice..?
ask him........it sounds like he wants more...
it sounds like he wants more.





but u can't be sure unless u straight out ask him.





if ur comfortable enough 2 lay naked then u can ask this.

What is the best way to forget my problem of a failed marriage? I need some advice, please!?

I grew up in a conservative family, all my siblings have keep their marriage intact if not perfect. I found a partner who is not a husband-material, so to speak. I am 36 years old and so unhappy with my predicament. What is the best way to forget my problem of a failed marriage? I need some advice, please!?
ok really you loved this guy now you dont


people change


people move on


lifes too short to waste the rest of your life dwelling on it


rather you shuold move on and enjoy the rest of your life


your 36, hopefully not even half way thru ur life yet


just start over, its really not that big a dealWhat is the best way to forget my problem of a failed marriage? I need some advice, please!?
I think you have to look at the marriage vows and ask yourself whether your husband kept his before you give yourself angst about breaking yours. Marriage is a contract and if one party breaks that contract then it is null and void. This is why the catholic church allows marriages to be annulled and why civil marriages can be ended with divorce.
Just because your siblings are keeping the peace in their not-so-perfect marriages , you dont have to feel pressurized for doing the same . Remember its OK to be different. So do your thing , what makes you happy . Afterall we only live once , might as well LIVE IT UP.
I do not know how religious you are... but I took a 'divorce care' thing at my church along with 'DC4K' divorce care 4 children... and that helped a lot... maybe not even church affiliated... but a small group to help you get some closure!
hhhmm... better talk to him, tel him abt ur feeling, if nt better have nice fd, so u can share ur feeling,,, atleast ur time wil get pass...

Can I have some advice? I'm having some problems with my best friend.?

she's acting like an idiot lately... whenever I tell her something, she always rolls her eyes and has to say something rude, or says something like ';Uh I can't even HEAR you!'; rather than just asking me to repeat what I said. and we sit together in music class, but she doesn't say a word to me at all because she's busy talking to her other friend who sits beside her, and when i DO say something to her, she just blows me off. we've been best friends since we were 11, and we share a locker and live pretty close... but i'm SICK of her taking out all of her anger on me and acting so annoyed of me. what should I do?











And she is also nice sometimes, but a lot of the time she acts like this and it makes so mad =[Can I have some advice? I'm having some problems with my best friend.?
If she keeps this up, I would talk to her about it. That's what I did and things changed. It just takes time. If she still does that, i wouldn't worry about her because you don't deserve to be stabbed in the back like that. I would say try to find another friend, but please talk to her first. She may not change right away, but if you keep pestering her, she will. If she is acting like that, she is not a true friend. I wish you the best of luck and just relax!!!!:-)Can I have some advice? I'm having some problems with my best friend.?
ok what is happening is I dont think she wants to be friends with you anymore. I have a friend that has clung on to me for a couple of years now. I have tried acting like your friend is acting now, just telling her i dont want to be friends anymore, etc. Finally she starting to let go a little bit more everyday. I am making a lot more friends, she is making a lot more friends, and we are a lot better off than we were while we were friends. We fought a lot, got tired of each other, ignored each other, and we just could not handle to stay friends. The point of this is I think she might be trying to get you to let go of the rope. My suggestion is to DO let go of the rope, branch out, make new friends, and surround yourself with people that you want to be like, good role models. I know it might be kind of hard letting her go but it will help you in the long run. Yes she is sometimes nice (keyword sometimes) and you should be friends with people who are ALWAYS nice. When you are friends with people who are nice, you yourself become a lot nicer. Well I wish you luck! Hope this helps!

Best Friend Problems I need some advice?

So my best friend and I just had a falling out she missed my graduation from high school to go and visit her boyfriends mother in the hospital (It wasnt her 1st day there) she knew way ahead of time about my graduation and she knew how much it meant to me that she was there. Like I said she didnt show up so after my graduation she had her cousin from out of town call me to say sorry for HER absence, then she texted me acting like someone else, then she e-mails me but she doesnt call she told me that she didnt do it on purpose but thats not how I see it then she tells me that shes not going 2 force on me anymore bcuz I didnt go to her grad. But lets be serious you missed mine did you really think that I was going 2 show up at yours. She started going into this whole thing about our friendship. I wanted her 2 do is act like a adult and call me herself so she wrote me again saying that she didn't know that I want her 2 call and then she called I missed it. When I talk 2 her what do i say?Best Friend Problems I need some advice?
if your friendship means something to you let it go. girl go crazy over their boyfriends they think that he just might be the one. So naturally she is trying to impress him through his mother, as you get older you will learn that even thought you might be friends for three years. if she really like this guy they could only be to together for 3 months......and she'll choose him. don't trip that's something all friends go through. we are just suckers for men. when you talk to her just tell her how you feel and but tell her that your sorry for being selfish, and its not worth the drama. Believe me if you let that tear y'all apart you'll re great it later. ****** smooches*****Best Friend Problems I need some advice?
maybe she is not ur best friend....i mean a best friend would never do that i mean i went to my bff graduation even i didnt felt like doing...thats just so mean u should call her and tell her frm st8 up i dont wana be ur friend anymore ...and btw finding a best friend is rele hard
You are so double standard and self serving. How dare you. Yes she new about your graduation, but you are acting like a life isn't as important. Lets say this was her mother in law (family) would you expect her to tell the one who is sick, I am sorry but my friend wont understand that it is more important for me to be her not only for you but for your son whom I love? Kudos for her for standing up for what she believes was right and shame on you for thinking you are more important. You are alive and well. How dare you. She may not have talked to you with her voice because she knew you would act like this and didn't want to be yelled at. I think you are the one who truly started this by not being understanding. If you don't go to hers than maybe she'll see how shallow a friend you really are. Did you care enough to ever ask and see how her boyfriends mother is or did you make her feel like crap that she wasn't at your graduation. How dare you. To think you are entitled and no one comes before you no matter what. I think your friend should drop you like a bad habit and never look back. That was uncalled for from you.

lipstick kiss

Back problems from large breasts...any advice?

I am a young woman in good health. only one problem...my breasts are DDD. I went from a small C to a DDD in a matter of one year. i've never had any children.





Lately I've been having bad back aches in my lower back. I haven't injured my back in any way,shape, or form. I personally think i'm too young to consider breast reduction b/c I do plan on having a kid within the next couple years. A majority of women i've talked to say their breasts got even larger. (a very small amount said they shrunk). i'd rather wait until i have a kid b4 breast reduction because I don't want to have it done, and then end up with the same size breasts as before. That'd be a complete waste of money and time.





Does anyone have any suggestions as for maybe exercises to strengthen back muscles? Types/brands/place to buy good supportive bras? Any ideas at all would be great!Back problems from large breasts...any advice?
You will not end up with permanent larger breasts if you get pregnant after a reduction. The increase is normally temporary. Since you are having back problems now you need the surgery so BEFORE you get pregnant as being pregnant will only cause more of a strain on your back may even cause some injury or damage. Get it done now BEFORE you have kids.Back problems from large breasts...any advice?
go and c some ppl who wear in bra shops, see what suggestions they have but other option is reduction
Surgery is probably a good idea now not later, also have your hormone levels checked, estrogen levels may be elevated if your still growing!
Usually during pregnancy the breasts get larger and go back to the previous size after giving birth.Since you are having problems now- I would go for a breast reduction now- be pregnant would cause more strain on an already strained back. D
Planks are an excellent lower back exercise that require no equipment. Google it and you'll find many variations.

Please give your advice to this problem I have. . . addiction to spending money - Please read question!!!?

I am trying to save money so that I can put a down payment on a house. I need to save $5,000. Everytime I get some money in my bank account, I am tempted to spend it. I know I need this money but cant help wanting to shop. Also the bank has to be my bank account so they know that I saved it and did not recive a ';gift'; to pay my down payment. How do I save money and not spend it? Im addicted to spending. . .Please HELP!!!Please give your advice to this problem I have. . . addiction to spending money - Please read question!!!?
Number one, I would recommend giving the money to someone you trust to place in a bank account in your name you cannot access. This can be done by not telling you the bank it is in, or giving you the passbook or the account number until the day you need it. Another option is to start an account with someone you trust that cannot be withdrawn from without both of your signatures.





Number two, you need to seek counseling. A psychiatrist can help you through your addiction. You cannot go through life like this. You are making yourself miserable. Joining a support group would help too.





I hope this helps. Best of luck to you.Please give your advice to this problem I have. . . addiction to spending money - Please read question!!!?
I have so many things that I've bought years ago that I'm looking at now saying ';why the hell did I buy this???';





Ask if you will appreciate the item in a few years or if you will use it every single day. If you use it more than 4 times per week, then it's probably a good buy. If it's something that you already have at home, don't buy it.
really..u solved the problem by actually asking it...u do know u hav a problem...so go ahead baby...put ur foot down n work on it..u culd:





- make a plan of spending how much where n wat money goes in2 the 'untouchable' stack..this will satisfy ur desire n future





- find sum frnd/ partner 2 help u cope up wid dis who has a similar problem


- worst 2 worst google sum sites with Tips...might work fer u :D





go dude!!..Stand up for urslf





;)
Why don't you try the stock market and put money into that as then it is harder to take the money out as you will have to do paperwork. Maybe everytime you want to spend that money maybe you need to right down DO NOT SPEND MONEY NEED MONEY FOR HOUSE a hundred times. Good luck.
You sound pretty desparate. Similar to being caught or trapped between to opposing fronts. The bank account will be pretty full but, how full is your Life? That is, partly the reason behind people who are addicted to buying things. Attempting to fulfill the inner emptiness with material goods. And, the results are very short lived. Buying a new item also, brings a Newness and sense of Hope into their lives. Fulfill your life with education and accomplishment which builds Selfesteem and confidence and, a foundation of Being. This is who I am. Good is Good Enough. Having a good relationship with another human being in your Life is, also, fulfilling. But, it can't be one where they fulfill you. Each as to stand alone as mature independent people.


Love yourself and be proud of who you are and, what you have accomplished in simple preset Goals. And, your Goal of a saving acct. and home will blossom before you know it because your mind is filled with other more immediate accomplishments. You will have changed your Focus. And, the inner child will be at Peace.
Don't go to the shops.
it is hard i have the same problem as u so i feel for you. if you get a good answer pleeze forward it to me Good Luck
Ask yourself before you buy something, DO I really need this?


Avoid the mall and any other unecessary browsing.


Keep a picture of your new house in your wallet to remind you that you have to save money.


:-D hope I helped.
It is so hard to save these days...whenever you walk down a street in town there is always advertising to get you to buy more, bigger, better, new, ect...





Especially fashion clothing.





What you need to do is...





Get a picture of the home that you want to get...


put it in your purse or wallet





When ever you are going to buy something...


look at it and see what you are giving up.





Whatever you buy...whatever you spend, goes down in value.





The home you are trying to save for will increase in value.


It is something that you will be able to depend upon for the future...





will that new purse, that c.d., that ring, or anything you buy appreciate as much in value as that house would?





Realize, that you have the option to either spend or save.





Money goes out a hundred ways...and comes in for many just one way...their job.





What is more important to you?


That home is the price you are paying for those jeans.





Think about it.





Get some help.
u can always go to a bank and open an account and keep it non accessable til u reach ur goal
You already have the answer...you have a bank!





Stop in at the bank, and tell a bank officer what you told us. They will help you set up a savings account that requires both you and someone else - say, a bank employee or a trusted friend - to sign off on making any withdrawals.





This way, you can still get at your money in emergencies, but the impulsive purchases would have to wait, and give you a chance to really think the purchase through.





Keep putting that sunny kitchen window in your mind, and imagine the smell of the warm cinnamon rolls and fresh coffee in your new home. Hang in there!





- Stuart
I have a similar problem. I find that if I don't go out I manage not to spend. You can go to the park, take a walk, even go to the mall but leave the credit cards and cash at home. Only bring with you what you are willing and able to spend. Don't spend beyond your means. Think about whether or not you need it and move on.


Good luck.
First you need a plan. Second you need to change your mind. It is your way of thinking that is causing you the grief. First pride has to go. Pride is why you do this. If you were not proud then you would not act this way. In the first part of examining your problem, you will notice that you don't live for other people but just yourself. You want to make you happy. So you buy stuff. If you would spend time doing things for others you would find yourself becoming happier and not having to spend so much money. Secondly get yourself a stock account online and buy stocks under five dollars that have good concepts. Buy these stock at regular intervals. As they take time to convert back to money you won't impulsively spend it. As it grows plan to buy your house. Look for the right house. If you have it found. Plan on it. Write your goal down. Fold it and put it in your bible or on your mirror and ask God for it and rightfully live for God and he will ultimately reward you. Living for others is living for God. So as you live for Him you will get your house!