Roommate problems. Can anyone offer advice, please?

I am a university student who recently moved into an apartment with two friends from my dorm. Let's call them Jane and Sally. I found this beautiful apartment with wonderful landlords and I had to have it. Jane and Sally, being friends, agreed to move in with me. But before they did, I mentioned I was going to foster dogs for the local shelter. And they both agreed to it. Also before signing the lease, Jane mentioned that she was buying a cat. I told her I was fine with it so long as the cat would be her complete responsibility. We moved into the apartment a few months ago and problems arose. I was fostering a dog (German Shepherd/Bulldog Mix) and my roommates were fine with it. He was an extremely quiet and gentle dog. Most of the time he sat around the house doing nothing or was off in a corner chewing on his rawhide bone. The Smart dog he was, understood that I was his caretaker and completely ignored Jane and Sally. The way they liked it. He shed a lot so I always vacuumed the entire house weekly as he was my responsibility. So I didn't think too much of it. However, one day I received a phone call from the shelter saying they had received an email from Jane's mother saying that the dog was ';aggressive and violent, would bite and attack people.'; The email also went to say that I was ';a bad foster parent and gave no choice in the matter to Jane or Sally.'; They were ';trapped with a vicious dog.'; Usually, I stay far away from confrontation. But this email was not only an attack on my personality, but the innocent dog's personality. I was livid when I got back to the apartment so I decided to take the dog for a walk first, calm myself down and then talk to Jane. After about an hour, when I was feeling a little more calm, I returned home and confronted Jane. I did not raise my voice, but I maintained a serious tone. I told her I felt hurt and betrayed. And I asked her why her mother would send such an email. She responded by mentioning the kitten she was about to purchase from a breeder and said that the kitten needed time to settle in without a dog. To which I told her that if she had a problem, she should have talked to me directly instead of going behind my back. At which point she had a panic attack and ran out of the room. When she came back, I tried to apologize for giving her a panic attack but she screamed, ';DON'T APOLOGIZE! IT MAKES IT WORSE!'; And retreated to her room. This left Sally to explain Jane's insecurities and reasons. And because I was brought to understand that the kitten NEEDED to settle in without a dog present, I agreed that if he didn't find a permanent home within a week of the kitten's arrival, I would send him to another foster home. Unfortunately I had to send him back only to find out that Jane was lying about the kitten's arrival date, claiming that the kitten was arriving at the beginning of the month but later retracting the statement - after the dog had left - saying she was unsure. So, I became upset about sending the dog back prematurely. However, I did make an agreement, and I continue to stick to it. But at the same time, I feel that Jane made an agreement about letting me foster a dog, but yet she does not stand by her word.





On top of the dog issue, Jane and Sally are messy people. They constantly leave dirty dishes in the sink, dirty pots on the stove, hair all over the bathroom floor and then some. I suggested making a chore chart and they agreed. However, when it was their turn to do chores, they never did. I was stuck cleaning up after them. Eventually, I stopped and I only cleaned up after myself, thinking that if I let the mess accumulate they might notice and take initiative. They didn't. So having exhausted those means, I decided to leave post-it notes whenever I saw a mess that needed cleaning up. Juvenile, but it got the point across since talking and asking were doing no good. However, Jane and Sally (understandably) got upset about the post-its to which I mentioned that I was upset about a mess. They told me I was being juvenile and they were upset at me. Even still I stood my ground and said that I did not want to be the only one cleaning up the house. They both promptly walked away and the matter has yet to come to a solid conclusion.





Through this letter, it appears I find Jane more of a problem than Sally, however, Sally always defends Jane. I feel outnumbered. And because of that, I often feel that I am wrong or unreasonable. Simply because I am not in the majority. Even worse, Jane and Sally mention all our problems to our friends. I want to ask them to stop, but how can I without being accusatory? Even if I don't like Sally and Jane very much at the moment, we still share a circle of friends and it's a very fragile and delicate balance. My other friends are nice enough to ignore what Jane and Sally say, but it's the principle of the matter. I don't like to talk behind Jane and Sally's backs, especially not to mutual friends. Because it's not theRoommate problems. Can anyone offer advice, please?
It appear that being roomates is tearing your friendship apart and the animal situation isnt helping any. First whoevers name is listed as primary signer on the lease has control here and whatever agreements are made between the three of you definitely needs to be in writing and signed by those directly involved. If the apt is yours then I would say you need to find some new roomates as this live-in situation is boardering on a disaster. Too much damage done now to be corrected. You cannot live your life by what you think your friends think or will say as this is none of their business anyway. Life isnt always easy and hardly goes as planned. So take control of this situation and tell your roomies they either agree or they can find other living arrangements. Good luckRoommate problems. Can anyone offer advice, please?
Ummmm. Sounds like the perfect dog, raising my suspicions. Are you sure there wasn't something more going on? Arthur's right--perhaps you should pursue a more solitary living arrangement.

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Um... if it really bothers you, move out. Jane and Sally don't really sound like people you can talk it out with.
Look, People like that don't deserve to be in an appartment, They deserve to be locked up in the loony bin.





If they are that insecure that they would tell there mothers to send a provocative email to a dog shelter about one of their cares just because the mothers daughter wanted a kitten and it ';Needs'; to settle down without a dog there, Even though the dog hardly does anything is appalling.





In my opinion, You should either kick them out, Or find another place.





Buts thats just my opinion.
Transfer the lease for the apartment to Jane or Sally. Move out. Get a smaller place for yourself without roommates.
First mistake college students make i know.. i did the same.. and you don't want to hear this but get it in writing.. your screwed on everytihng... i'm sorry to say... I suggest finding new places to hang out and find new friends for the last part.. i really can't say much just that talking to them isn't going to help i know those type of girls and its like fighting a storm your not going to win.. just keep your head up high that dog will find a nice home and at the end of this you will 2
Yes, you're being very juvenile. Either accept your roommates or move back into the dorms I guess. You can't have everything.