So theres this girl I met 2 years ago and we were friends at first but I have always always liked her and held my eyes on her. I never expressed to her, talked to her that much, or try to be with her because of something else that Im not going to go deep into this question on here because its personal. But i've always had my eyes on her, the day I saw her, i saw through her and it blew me away of what I was seeing. February of 2008, she found a guy and they started dating but I got upset because I couldnt talk to her, or do anything to her because of that ';deep'; part. Remember, the deep part I'm not saying has a big part in this but its between me and god only. Just to sum it up a little, I couldnt express to her until I found hope. I had to find it by myself.
It was December of 2008 and I was still looking for hope at the time, still not coming into contact with her at all. One night, I ';flew';. I flew high above everything, and when I reached god, he told me about rainforests, philosophy of many things, and the construction of clocks, but I didnt understand what he was talking about, but I liked his words. He told me one last thing, and he said, ';Dylan, you've gone through bad situations over the past 8 years, you've been looking for hope for the past 8 years. Hope is just one step away, even though I've given you many steps. The last step is love. Dylan, it is now time to express to her.';
I woke up the next morning, I thought it was a dream, but it wasnt. So now it was my time to talk to this girl, tell her how i feel, enter her life and show her everything I can hold inside me, BUT...the guy is in the way. They were dating for 9 months at the time and yes, i felt bad doing what I was/still am doing but it is what I was told to do, she was all I needed at the time, shes my hope.
After only talking to her for a month and a half, she told me she loved me. And I asked her why. She told me so much, how I'm so sweet, how I'm upfront but not in a mean way, how shes happy when shes with me, how much I actually care for her, how I'm different than anyone shes ever met in her life, how I help her, how of everything. She told me I am perfect, but she has her boyfriend, her first love.
She fell in love with me in a short period of time, I fell in love with her a long time ago. Ever since she fell in love with me which was in February of 2009 which was 5 months ago, I actually have fell in more love with her, she's fallen in more love with me, we have gained so much over these past months but her boyfriend is still in the way today. She's in love with me still, she has cheated on him with me alot of times, shes gained respect for me and her and us, shes gained so much with me and for me to the point she told me 3 weeks ago she plans on spending the rest of her life with me. I was shocked. I was shocked because I wanted to die, live, be, with her until my day has come. I told her I want everything. I told her if that did happen, we'd be perfect but yes, their would be problems every now and then but not as much as she is with her boyfriend because he is just a jerk to her. He does drugs, he hangs out with people who talk mess about her, hes just a jerk. I told her we have problems to learn and gain from it. I want it all, I need her in my life, shes my last step to hope. She knows how much she is to me and how much I am to her but her boyfriend is still in the way.
But since summer is here, she's been different. Like this, she'd go a whole 24 hours without texting me or having any contact with me. But over the past hours of not hearing from her, I get worried. I get really worried. I dont get crazy, I just try to find out where shes at and all. Once I find out where shes at and what shes doing, I would wait until she'd text me and Id ask her, ';Where have you been?'; And she always gets defensive and when she'd tell me where shes at, I'd tell her that i know what she was doing and where she was so thats when she'd start telling me the truth about where she was. And I ask her why she hasnt talked to me when she has her phone and she comes up with an excuse but she talks to my other friends when shes not talking to me so therefore, ill confont her like this, ';babe, you had this and that to talk to this person, but why not me?';.
I have been having to ask her and confront her alot lately, and she told me 3 days ago when I last heard from her that I've changed. How have I changed? Because I've had to confront her alot lately? Ive been upfront or something? I really dont know what I've done to deserve this. I havnt heard from her in 3 days.
And if you are going to tell me to move on and forget about her, no i will not because ive told her everything i've been through, ive told her everything i want with her, we have everything in common, and most importantly, I cant fall for someone else the way I fell for her, I cant get anyone else to believe the words that have came out my mouth that i've told her. TGirl problems, boy problems, I need some advice. Please help, please, its alot to me. Please.?
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