Problems with 16yrold daughter any advice.?

My daughter called her school and excused herself from second period. Of course school calls and questions it. She lives with her mother but mother out of country. She has a horse show she was going to next week, going to miss 2 days to attend this event. Just wondering if it is to harsh to cancel her trip to the show. It's the Grand Championships so it's a pretty big deal. Any advice.. Problems with 16yrold daughter any advice.?
I would have to say that you should let her go, because it's a big deal, but then let her mother know about what she did when she gets back, or next time your daughter asks to do something with her friends, just don't let her go, and that could be the punishment. Problems with 16yrold daughter any advice.?
Hello...There is only one issue and it has nothing to do with what show is going on or the perceived importance of it...The facts are she improperly called the school and no doubt lied about who she was in order to get the exemption....If you allow her to get away with this you will have allowed her get away with lying, and failing to understand the importance of life priorities....Your the parent and it's your job to teach her what the priorities are and price she must pay for being untruthful.....You don't let here attend the show and you ground her for a month.....This is where your a parent with values or a parent that can be manipulated and incapable of providing leadership....Good luck and I wish you well.
Yes, that is very harsh. Missing one day of class won't generally harm her, but missing this could. What she is learning and/or doing in HS does not really matter in the long run, but what she is passionate about does.
Canceling her show just because she skipped one class is waaay harsh.





Don't cancel the show. Punish her some other way but skipping class really isn't a huge enough deal to cancel something that's really important.
hmmmm...that's a tough one. i never tried to do anything like that in high school, so its hard to say what the consequence would be. i know i did get into trouble during the beginning of softball season and my dad allowed threatened to not let me play softball, but we compromised and i had to give up the car for 2 weeks, and was on ';restriction.';





that sounds like a big event for her to miss, but if this is a regular thing that she's been doing then i would say cancel it, but if this is her first offense then i would give her a break and let her go to the show (but ground her from other activities).
I got caught skipping the week before Homecoming (not the Grand Championships, but a big deal to me). I got grounded from the game %26amp; dance but they let me barter my way out of it.


I raked leaves every 2-3 days until the snow fell.


I went to Homecoming with blisters, but I didn't do it again.


(At least I didn't get caught again.)
I don't think it's too harsh because school comes first. Unless winning the Grand Championships will give her some sort of scholarship for her future education, then this is a good method of teaching her a lesson.





What's she going to do when she's grown and has to go to work everyday? I wish I could just excuse myself for a few hours but it just doesn't work that way. Now is the time for her to learn that lesson.


Best of luck!


Jenn
Jake, the grand championships are a big deal. You usually have to qualify to attend, not to mention the time, money and effort of get there to start with. Don't make her miss them.





However, tell her that the grounding and punishments will start after the show.
if her mom is out of town it will just totally make you the bay guy and she will hate you just stop her from doing other things but let her do that just threaten to do it



The punishment should match the crime, taking away her horse riding in a Grand Champion Event would be, in my opinion a mistake and something she will resent for many years to come especially if she has the talent to succeed. It would be better to be creative in your punishment, take away her cell/computer/whatever she also has for the length of time she missed school OR if the school knows it was a truant and have given her detention then she has been punished. OR sit her in her room one afternoon for a home detention.
As the mom of a young equestrian, I think that keeping her from going to the show, especially without warning, would be pretty harsh. She has already paid a steep entry fee, which won't be refunded if she cancels, and this sounds like a big event. What she did was dishonest and wrong, but the punishment should fit the crime. Maybe have her verify her attendance in some way from now on, and tell her if it happens again that she will miss the next show. Also make sure she makes up the work that she missed.
Advice from a teen? You'd only make her hate you.... no offense of course. Listen this is HUGE, you can always ground her later. I know some people think that's like letting them off the line or being ';weak'; but your just being a jerk to keep her from the championships.





Almost everyone in High School once in their life fakes being sick, calls in sick, doesn't do there homework (if your really THAT bad...). You just need to make sure she doesn't do it again, and you said she lives with her mother and her mother's out of town. Does she know? Cuz what mom doesn't know what hurt her! It'll just make her in dipper BS and a less chance of going to the championship and she should go!





Listen my advice, let her go and punish her later she needs this! Every teen needs their time to shine and this is hers! Let her rock that championship and kick total butt! Promise you you WILL regret keeping her back because you'll always be haunted by what ifs?





Hope I helped and I hope she gets to go =D
Yes I would cancel it. She needs to learn that there are consequences for her actions. She should have already learned this.