Problems with my partner - advice please?

Okay here's the situation. My partner and I have been together for five years. About 3 years ago, she had an ';indiscretion'; which we moved past and continued with our relationship. Although I have to admit, you never really ';move past it';.





I brought one daughter to the relationship, she brought one son. Her son's father has not been involved in her son's life since we have been together. Now he found through myspace and wants to be a part of his son's life. He's not working, he's been incarcerated for like 4 -5 years and just has a lot working against him (in my opinion). My stepson is autistic and I am not trying to disrupt his life unduly. He's very happy and well adjusted, and there's no need to change that.





On top of that, he's married and my partner has really hit it off with his wife. They instant message a lot, the wife calls, text messages, and I'm starting to get a little ticked off with it. My partner says I'm over reacting, they are just friends.





Advice?Problems with my partner - advice please?
I can understand your frustration because you feel left out. It is not so much that she has a new friend in the wife of her ex but that she is not making you part of the relationship. Please voice your feeling as follow'; I too want to be part of the relationship with X wife of your ex.'; then you will be on the same level. The threat that you are feeling will vanish and life will go on as normal.


Much luck,


JPProblems with my partner - advice please?
I am glad that my answer could help. My email is listed so please don't hesitate to contact me to let me know how things go!


J-P

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I think if you had a normal, heterosexual family this wouldn't be a problem.





However, this is my usual advice to people like you: once a cheater, always a cheater. You can't move past it, but neither can she. Once someone has betrayed your trust, there is no reason not to do it again.
Go see a couples counselor.
I'm sorry your going through this, and it's not a good situation. But he has a right to be part of the child's life if he can prove to be a responsible father. I know it's hard, and you don't agree with it, but try not to get too worked up over it.
Let the boy know his dad. If the man has given you no reason to doubt him yet (beside the whole prison thing and not being there) you shouldn't doubt him. When he messes up, get rid of him then. Until then, don't worry.
If it walks like a duck...








Also, you know how crucial it is for your son to have a stable environment. Do what's best for him.





Good luck! :)
Maybe they are just friends and if you don't believe so just move on with your life.
I would tell your partner HOW uncomfortable this makes you! Don't back down from that- she should do the right thing in regards to you. As far as your step-son...that's great that he's doing so well! I think I would give my opinion as a step-parent but you must understand unless you've adopted him the dad still has rights also. Perhaps because of your step-son's Special Circumstances you and your girl could request supervised visitation or maybe try to do ';family outings'; with the basis being on your step kid. It is his family and he will be involved with them. I wouldn't like it but you have to handle that with special care! Good luck and I hope everything works out for you!
Don't get upset too quickly. His wife and yours have something in common (aside from rotten taste in me). He is the kids father and you can't change that. Try to get to know this other woman a bit before you judge too harshly.