I miss out on a lot of things I should do or that I want to do because I'm shy and afraid of what people are thinking, etc. For example, I won't go to the gym on my campus because I get really nervous about working out in front of and in close proximity to other people. I really want to go to the gym, but I just can't unless it's a holiday and no one else is really there. Going with my boyfriend during the holiday with a total of 5 other people in the gym was a pretty big step for me. I carefully scan my professors before choosing classes to ensure that they don't require any class presentations and minimal group-activities because I CANNOT speak in front of other people. I get severe anxiety about it- shaking, sweating, turning red, my voice quivers and I stumble over words. I've really stalled about getting a new job because I'm afraid of that too- being the new girl, messing up and people thinking I'm stupid, etc. I don't join clubs on campus unless my boyfriend is going beause I'm afraid of being left out and looking/feeling awkward. I also have a tough time making new friends because I'm so quiet and I think my shy demeanor is sometimes mistaken as being mean or snobby. Once I do make friends, things go really well, but it's the inital start of things that's really rough for me and puts me off from even trying. Not only are all of these kinds of things a problem for me personally, but they're putting some strain on my relationship with my boyfriend.
I realize that the things I get so nervous about are pretty silly, but when I'm in the moment, I can't get past it and just do it. Like I said, I'm missing out on a lot of things- school functions and opportunities, a healthier lifestyle, and money (job) and I need help changing this.
Does anyone have or know someone with a similar problem? Any ideas on things I could try to do to get better about this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!Problems with shyness... any advice?
PRACTICE in front of your mirror is a good place.When a social event is coming up,promise yourself that you are going and that you are going to have a good time and right away start practicing. Treat yourself to something special that makes you feel good(pedicure?),new haircut?, really cool gym outfit?. Walk tall, smile(even if it is hard), even assume a superior personality.Keep repeating this everyday in every situation and soon it will be natural and you will be having the time of your life! - About feeling stupid - you are not the center of the universe,so why do you think people will care or even notice for that matter. Good Luck. Stay tall! *practice small conversations before you leave home ( I used to even write them out on a little paper,so that I wouldn't forget!)Problems with shyness... any advice?
well, i know cuz i am. but it's really hard to change from being shy to social in front of people who already know you're shy. People who don't know you will be meeting you for the first time, so show them a side that you don't know, take a chance! maybe you'll like what they think of you. -good luck:)
what the hell do you need to be d*** shy for, god, just be a b**** for once. Smoke that will make you look awesome! heh. heh.
I had that kind of anxiety present and whatnot in high school. Really the only way to get over it is to get some experience behind you that you _can_ perform in front of groups and not have them think you're an idiot.
Simply put, you'll have to put yourself intentionally into situations that you cannot avoid the group scene. Go with your boyfriend to work out at busy times, take classes with presentations, hell, take a speech class. After some time up in the spotlight you'll notice you get up there again and know you'll be fine because the last ten times you did it no one threw rotten tomatoes at you.
Its painful and nerve racking and you'll definitely trip up a few times but you had to do that when you learned to ride a bike didn't you? Everything takes practice, so go out and get some.
I have a very introverted personality as well...but its not nearly as bad as yours.
The underlying issue might be little to no self esteem perhaps? That's what it is for me. What helped was that my boyfriend (now my husband) told me that every time I thought something bad about myself to picture him clubbing a baby seal (so...that sounds really mean, but it was an inside joke so it was funny...don't hate me!) and at first I was like...whatever. But after while I did notice my self esteem growing significantly not because of that poor beaten baby seal, but because I was learning that it doesn't matter what other people think of me because I have someone who thinks the world of me no matter how many times I look stupid in public. %26lt;3
Anyway, I hope that helps you too! Good luck!
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