Problems with husband's family members, advice?

I have been married for about 7 months but have known my husband since junior high. Therefore, I know his family very well and we are close. Our wedding planning was hell because everyone is in everyone's business...DRAMA! His cousin was in our wedding, on my side because I had felt we grew close and are close in age. Now we are no longer speaking due to an incident while we were at a bar for my husbands bday. She brought herself into our business, publicly when I had run into a high school ex of mine...drama. Now she has written me emails that have put me down in ways no one ever has. She said horrible things and brought the whole family into it. She talked down on our marriage, our wedding and me as a person. I am NOT ok with that. We have not talked since Easter and it is uncomfortable at all the constant family get togethers. People think I need to be the bigger person and forgive her, but I am extremely hurt and mad she was in my wedding feeling the way she did????Problems with husband's family members, advice?
I know how you feel. I had problems with the way my husband's family treated both him and me. This isn't the same problem as yours but I know how hard it is to deal with in-laws.





What does your husband say about this? How close is he to his cousin? You can easily be the bigger person and be polite to her. However the main issue is not to let his family get into your business again. You need your husband for this. If anyone else tries to intrude again you both need to say that you are getting along fine in your marriage and do not want to listen to anything negative. AND STICK TO IT. They will eventually give up.





The first year of marriage is the most difficult in dealing with each others families. Just keep the communication open with your husband.





You did not lose out by having her in your wedding. You did a good thing and probably have great memories of when you married your husband. If she chooses to act this way notk, that is her choice. It is on her not you.Problems with husband's family members, advice?
Block her from sending you emails and others need to stay out of it and mind their own business.
I get how you feel. However, you have to come to terms with what has happened and, even if you cant forgive her, find a way to move on. My advise? Send her one last email,respectfully, telling her how you feel and then leave it alone. When the family gets together, go an enjoy the other members that mean alot to you. Also, you didnt marry the family. You married your man so focus on making a woderful marriage and memories and leave her to her drama.
I agree with you. IL's need to mind their own business. She had no right to involve herself in your problem and then make judgments and say hurtful things about you. I would tell her that you are deeply hurt by her actions and would like an apology. If she gives it to you and it appears that she will not continue that behavior, then forgive her. If she has no remorse and makes no apology then cut her loose. You deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. PPL that tell you to be the bigger person are only saying that because they don't want to be uncomfortable and they expect you to make the sacrifice. Aren't you worth more that that?
I strictly believe that if someone makes you miserable- you should not have them in your life. Enjoy your 'new' life and your new marriage....disregard her!
I think you need to take any email she saids you and forward it back to her with a message at the top that says, not accepting messages from this user.





(And don't read it!)





When you see her in public, smile and say, ';Hi!';, and nothing else. Or just say nothing at all. Just keep that smile pasted on. Don't not react or respond to anything else she says. If anyone else asks you about what she is doing or saying, just say, ';I don't talk about her.'; Don't look angry or anything - just keep your face blank or smile. Or you can say nothing - just look at them and say nothing. (This was my favorite.)





People will see her as the trouble maker and you as the person who is above it all.





Some people are bored unless they can cause drama. There is no need to feed it. Their life will always be a mess.

wrinkles