I am in a situation that has me very upset. It is with my sister. She is older, we are both in our 30's. She has two children, I am pregnant with my first. We live 1000 miles apart. We have never gotten along the best (we are complete opposites) but we always stay in contact. Speaking on the phone usually several times a month and visiting when we lived closer to each other. Our parents live in another state as well. Over the summer I visited my parents for a few weeks since I am not currently working. The plan was to fly to my sisters then drive with her and her kids to my parents house, 10 hours away. I kept asking my sister when she could go, she never gave me a straight answer and said she wasn't even sure if she could go. Finally I just booked a ticket straight to my parents house but made it for the few weeks that my sister was toying with coming. Well once I got to my parents she said she didn't feel comfortable driving by herself with her two kids and that her car was acting up and she wondered if my parents would come to pick them up halfway the following week. I told her that it seemed last minute and I didn't think they would go for that, but to ask my mom and see. She chose not to ask and didn't end up coming. But in the meantime she stopped talking to me and my parents. I figured she was mad because I didn't think my parents were going to drive all that way last minute. I found out the sex of my child in the meantime, sent a text to her saying it's a boy and got one word back, congrats, she never called or anything. I let it go and finally just texted her like nothing was wrong and we chatted via text a little. Things were looking up. Until last week. My mom flew to my house because my hubby is away on business for a month and I wanted company. Well my sister happened to call my mom while she was at my house. When my mom said she was with me, my sister got upset and said she wouldn't bother her then and hung up. She sent me a message and said don't bother coming to visit them in the fall (we were all planning to visit my sister and her family in November) because she is tired of being the black sheep in the family. Obviously she is upset that my mom and I have spent so much time together, but my mom and I have always been close and get along really well. Her and my mom don't always get along either.
Anyway I don't know what to do. I am hurt by how she is acting, but I don't think I did anything wrong. She is the type of person who gets mad so easily and I have found myself always being the one to make nice. I am sick of it! Not to mention she doesn't even seem at all interested in her nephew to be. Even when I have done so much for her kids! I even offered to fly my 14 year old niece to my house for a visit, she couldn't come due to cheer camp so I helped pay for camp instead. I am so mad! I wouldn't care as much if it wasn't for my niece and nephew. I am at a loss and just need to vent. If anyone bothers to read this whole thing and has any good advice I would appreciate it.Problems between adult siblings...advice? (long)?
You are about to be a Mom (congratulations!) so that needs to be your focus, not being emotionally blackmailed by your passive aggressive sister. She's an adult, so if she has a problem with you, it's her responsibility to come right out and tell you what it is, not play all these childish games. People like her feed into the drama of it and crave a reaction from you. Don't give her a reaction. Just remain calm and mature, not reactive and emotional. This might make her become even more extreme...so be it. That is not your problem. Nor is her petty and unhealthy jealousy over your relationship with your parents. You are expecting a child, it's NATURAL for your parents to spend more energy on you. Focus on that positive energy, not the negative energy your sister gives off. It's not healthy for you and it's not healthy for your baby.Problems between adult siblings...advice? (long)?
ha i read it all :P any way i don't really know what to tell you except call her and be like ';don't be so damn jelous'; lol jking but tell her to invite your mom out to her house if she wants and that you arent stopping them two from visiting and you don't get why it was that big of deal if your mom came out and visited you
What you can do is, let it go. Because she has no self esteem and she is jealous. And stop doing things for her kids. If she wants to be a ***** let her be a *****. Because you shouldnt be helping her children if she is doing that. But you can have other relatives to talk to :) Like your cousins or something. But leave her alone and she will come running back sometime soon. :) And Congragulations on the boy :)
I don't see anything that you can (or should) do differently. You've bent over backwards to be accommodating, yet your sister insists on doing what she can to hinder you.
I feel you should just continue being pleasant, but don't go out of your way. Nothing you do will change her behavior. And, most importantly, you're pregnant and don't need to deal with her silliness.
(I have a nutty sister, too. I'm 40, and she's 57.)
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