Problems with my dad+advice?

My mom%26amp;dad both work very hard...but my dad always complains that he's working for ';other peple'; (my sister and I) to enjoy it. He also says that if I don't want to go to college that's my problem and when my parents fight, he says that when he leaves, he's not comingback because there's nothing here for him. I feel like he doesn't love us at all..could it be because his parents never showed him love? I cry all the time because it sucks to know your own dad knows nothing about you :(Problems with my dad+advice?
Dad's are like that, and some are worse. They cannot be changed. what you can do is express in some way by a Christmas card. or a Birthday card or in person, that you do care for all the work he is doing for your and your sister. Remind him often that you care and appreciate all that he does for his children. Angry words are often spoken after a fight. Yes we all bring our past into our marriages and our families, and so does your Dad. It may be good to assure him that you would like to go to College, and that hopefully you will get a scholarship to help with the expenses. The education will provide you with a better income, and that you might be able to return some of the financial support that he has provided for you. Things will look up again, keep a positive attitude, Merry Christmas to you and yoursProblems with my dad+advice?
You don's say how old you and your sister are. I think you should have a dad and me night just the two of you. Ask your dad out for a daughter and dad special day. That way he will know you put thought into it and it will make him feel special. Try going out for a maybe a movie and a burger afterwords. The movie gives you both something in common to start talking about. Then you can get onto other subjects to let him know how you feel about the fighting, how you feel about going to college etc. I am sure that your dad is working hard to support the family and is feeling stressed out or maybe he is feeling a bit neglected also. Good luck and talk it out. That is the best thing to do. Hug and kiss him too.
Unfortunately your Dad is not a happy person and he is taking it out on the ones closest to him. Please understand that it is not you or your sister who are to blame, and in fact the two of you should have a serious talk with your mom and tell her how your Dad is affecting your lives. You might also try showing your Dad a bit of affection....Hugs, a kiss on the cheek, and a Thanks can work miracles. There is a lot of stress right now, Holidays are always a bad time, the economy is a disaster, people are losing their jobs. All of these things are very hard on people.
your father loves you.


it's just that some people have more loving nature, like they love to show how they feel more that others.


your father is that way. of course he loves you. he's just not very good at showing it :)


so don't worry or get sad about what he saids.


understand him, and understand that that's the way he is.


he works for you indeed, so try to show how you love him and thank him often for that


I'm sure he wants to know you, just he's not used to be so loving around his children when his parents were not like that with him.


so first try to understand him.


then you try being more friendly and loving, and he'd soften surly.
Your dad loves you or he wouldn't provide for you. He is stressed and blowing off steam, but he is just doing it the wrong way and doesn't realize how he is hurting you. Have you tried to tell him quietly (not when he is upset) about how he has made you feel? Have you discussed this with your mom? You could think about trying this, or writing it out. Sometimes, people say things but don't mean them that way...I hope you can talk to him soon. Don't cry..hugs.
Miserable people make other people miserable. He may be doing all that he can believe it or not. Thats hard to not take very personal but try to figure things out with your mom. Try ( hard I know) not to judge your worth on the things he says. He is obviously not happy and doesn't care who knows. Maybe he was never shown love, but either way - its not fair for him to do that to you and your sis. Stay strong..you'll be a better person for keeping your head up despite it all. Best Wishes. - And Merry Christmas...
go up to him and give him a long hug for like 4 minutes and swear your not letting go
I think your parents really want the best for you and they ';think'; it's sending you to college. Your parents don't get along because they are loosing tough. It's like having an affair and the other woman/man is their job! Stealing you of your precious time with your parents. If money is what drives them you cant really put the breaks on it. More money more problems! Gotta pay for the house, the cars....college! They have a lifestyle they don't want to give up. It's like the movie ';Click';. That's what opened my husbands eyes, that and the economy pushed us out of our home and hummer and escalade. When we lost it all (including me and the kids) he vowed never to put his job first and spend time with the family (he didnt go to 1 softball game and our son is 4yrs old). One of two things to do, you can try to express your feelings to him where he can understand, or focus your time and energy on something else like school/friend/work and wait till this chapter in your life goes by. The more energy you put in him the more your going to hurt about how it could have been. If he's working for your college money, don't let it go to waist-use it. Maybe he'll come around, sadly might be much later than sooner. Somethings gonna give. Your parents need to spend some time together before the whole family breaks down, but then sometimes it's not a good thing if they are so far apart they realize they have nothing in common anymore. Try and make the best of a bad situation. For starts, if he knows nothing about you make him a homemade card telling him you love him. tell him good things about him cause im sure he can thing of all the bad himself. My husband was so stress from working hard, he was the first one in and the last one out and i wouldnt see him till 9:30 every nite and only on sunday he was off. He neglected all of us, including me. Come to find out he was consumed by his work thinking that money made his family happy, giving them what he never had. Now he tells people that he rather his kids have a relationship with him and not his money. Theres gonna have to be a drastic change from your parents or your perspective on the whole situation. take care
It could very well be that he doesn't know how to deal with being a parent and what a ';normal'; household is like because of his own childhood. Whatever the reason, acknowledge that it hurts. Take him aside (when he's not in the midst of a fight with your mother) and let him know that when he says he has nothing to come back for that hurts you and you want to have a better relationship with him. You may discover that he is saying that more as a phrase directed at your mother than at you. Often when couples fight the children are seen temporarily as ways at getting at the other spouse and forget that their children hear and process everything that is being said.


If your dad does mean it, and really feels that he has no attachment to you or your sister, this is very sad. Unfortunately, however, it is not unheard of. If this is the case you will need to accept that he is incapable of showing you the proper affection (for whatever reason--maybe because he wasn't loved as a child) and find people in your life who can love you. Find other relatives (aunts, uncles, grandparents), good friends, and ultimately a good partner so that you can fill the void in your life your father's absence causes.


Best wishes.