HUGE EX BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS// HELP (Any advice appreciated)?

My ex boyfriend and i were together for 2 years, we were engaged and had plans for the future untill things went downhill and he started to abuse me and cheat on me. I stuck by him thru this for six months after i knew about it because everytime i tried to leave him he would cry and make me feel bad. But in October he dumped me and i have been fine up untill now. Nearly 4 months.. But im starting to miss him and iv been spending alot of time with one of his best friend Mike. Mike kissed me the other nyt and part of me has feelings for him but being the good friend to dave that he is, he mentiioned my name to dave .. who broke down and said that the reason he didnt top up his phone this month is because he stil loves me but doesnt WANT to get bak with me. Now im completely confused. I like Mike ALOT. But now im totally confused about the whole dave situation. Getting bak with Dave is out of the question. I wud loose my family and Friends.. and Mike. Help PleaseHUGE EX BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS// HELP (Any advice appreciated)?
Forget Dave. Sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Mike. Tell him that you like him and would like to date him but you don't want to ruin his friendship with Dave. Explain that there is no chance that you and Dave will ever get back together, regardless of what he may want. Tell Mike that you would love to get to know him better and see where it leads but you're not comfortable with him discussing your relationship with Dave and you'd like to keep any situations involving the three of you to a minimum. Of course it would not be wise to ask him to choose between you and his friend...it would only make him resent you later if he did choose you. And if a relationship does develop with Mike, you'll have to be understanding of time he wants to spend with Dave.


It sounds to me like Dave is using guilt to try to manipulate both of you. Crying and telling Mike he still loves you is his way of testing Mike's friendship. Dave is insecure and immature...not to mention abusive and a cheater as you've already pointed out. He wants to make everyone feel as low as he does....and it's going to be hard to make a relationship with Mike work until he figures that out for himself (and unfortunately, you can't do anything to hasten his realization because it will only make you seem petty and vindictive).


The most important thing is that you and Mike talk about where things might go and how the two of you will handle some of the situations that are sure to come up. If the two of you can't work that out together, the relationship doesn't have much of a chance so you should save your heart and move on to someone who has no connections to your past love.HUGE EX BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS// HELP (Any advice appreciated)?
Was there a question in this? Here's what I got from your post:





I like Mike


I am NOT getting back together with Dave.





So where's the problem? Heck, you said it was HUGE problem in all caps, but there's no problem at all? Something's not adding up.





You want other people's opinions and advice about what?





How about this: Do not get back together with Dave.
what????? someone should perhaps knock u out if u even contemplating Dave!! as u said stay away he is an unstable case





as for mike...i think he is too close to Dave's circles it would be better if u found someone from a different crowd but if u really like him...remember that Dave is the Past
Girl friend, stop the madness. You are addicted to the drama. What you had with Dave was not love and thank God you are out of it. What you feel is what psychologist diagnose as a ';Love Addiction,'; people who are addicted to the abusive types and relationships. You don't want that, and hanging on to Mike is your way of being close to Dave. It's a set up and it's a game you can't win. My suggestion is leave them both alone, remove them from your phone roster, your e-mail etc. Go out and find you another crowd to hang out with and for now stay away from any intimate relationship with the opposite sex. Give yourself a chance to do you, figure out who you are and what you desire out of life. I would also suggest if you haven't already, seek Christ and a relationship with Him and you will find the peace and healing you need. You need to break some soul ties or your life will contiue in cylcles you can't imagine. I also sugggest you check out the sources and BE FREE. God loves you, but you have to love yourself enough not to be entangled with the wrong people.
Ok let me make this short sweet and simple since you already have a complex mess on your hands. step 1- Forget about Dave completely ( he is a *** and made your life hell) step 2- Dont worry about Mike and Daves friendship, its not your problem, Mike can handle his cheating friend. Step 3- Get with Mike who will make your life so awesome and make all the crappy things in your past fade awayyyyyyyyy. Keep your tunnel vision goggles on. Mike is the Goal dont let stupid ex's ruin your Future for love too!!!!! THERE. PROBLEM SOLVED.
firstly.. hi...





my advice to you would be:=%26gt;


to me you better think of the future... which is better? to love someone or being love by someone??


think of what Dave have done to you?


as for mike.. you are no fair to him.. he is there for you but your heart is with Dave..


please wake up sister..


which would you rather loose? loose a stupid guy or loose all your love wants that have been with you all the way thru thick n thin???


think about it carefully..


sorry if my advice my sound bad but it's the truth...
Not topping up his phone cause he's still in love with u but doesn't wanna get back together just sounds like an excuse so his friend won't hook up with u. Move on and find someone who isn't so attached at the hip with his mates and is willing to have a relationship with u.
What would worry me about Mike is that he told Dave. A kiss and tell guy is not the best. I would not bother with either of them and look for a completely fresh start. Definitely forget Dave. If you have anything to do with Mike, sooner or later he will think it is only because you are trying to make Dave jealous and then you will have trouble there.
Forget about both of them there are enough men out there for you to meet. You need to build a barrier between you and your ex. that means dropping off all contact with him and his friends so you can move on.
This is called domestic ABUSE! Go out with Mike, but for god sake leave dave the hell alone





-Social Worker