I've been dating a girl from Switzerland for about a year now. I lived in Europe for a year as an exchange student, and when I got back I met the girl I'm currently dating after a friend kind of hooked us up. I was originally just looking for someone to continue speaking German too, but almost immediately we just clicked. I'd like to think we fell in love almost immediately but we didn't even say those special 3 words until after she went back home...
We dated for about 4 months over the summer of 08' till about September when she had to go back home. I never even thought about her returning to her home country until the day she left. We hung out nearly everyday and I guess I always tried to repress the realization that she would soon go home. I was devastated after she left and I never knew what I had till it was gone. It was when she left that I realize that I loved her whole heartedly. We did a Skype long distance relationship sorta thing and talked nearly everyday for 30min-4 hours at times, or stayed in contact via emails and texts. Even though we were not physically together, I believe we came to learn A LOT more about each other and our relationship grew. After about 6 months I finally was able to visit her and meet her family and friends in her home city in Switzerland. We were together for a little over 2 weeks, and it had to of been the best 16 days of my life. It was X-Mas morning each and every second. It was better than I could of ever imagined and I felt so absolutely in love with her every second that I was with her. The waiting that we had done didn't even seem to of existed. Things were perfect... It was the last day, and we were standing crying together in the Zurich airport, I wanted to marry this girl. She made me so happy, happier than I've ever been in my life, and I was just about to hop aboard a plane and with each minute that I flew I would be miles and miles away from the girl that made me the man I am now. I could do anything for this girl, and she gives me this feeling that I can DO anything I set my mind to.
When I returned to the states... it was just awful. Back to our dreadful Skype e-relationship, with no future in sight. We tend to argue a lot now... She was stressed with her university exams and I have been stressed with work. It is so hard to talk on a daily basis to the person you love so terribly much, but not be able to physically hold that person, or experience things together and a daily basis. It's like dieing of thirst in the desert all the while looking at a cold glass of water in an unbreakable glass cube. That's the best way I could describe it. I know I can't do this much longer, and she keep's telling me that neither can she. Not to mention that I am a 20 year old guy that has basically not had sex in months upon months...which I have to say is taking it's effect. But that is not really the big issue.
So now here's the thing. She is hopefully coming to visit me in August now... I know we will have a wonderful time again, as we did in Switzerland, but then what? We both love each other terribly, but unfortunately live on opposite ends of the globe. I know that Long-Distance relationships do not work... That's not what I came here to ask. I think I know that better than anyone. I just don't know what to do. She will come here, we will have an amazing time and then again there we will be... standing in the airport... crying and empty feeling. We are now talking about her coming here, knowing that before she arrives we will break up when she leaves.. but to me that doesn't make sense. We will fall in love again while she is here, and then boom.... we say goodbye and never see each other again. I love this girl so much.. and if I could I think I would live over in Europe just to be with her. My German is good... but it's not Swiss German which is extremely different. She is locked into University for at least the next 4 or 5 years and has already expressed that she does not want to live in the States but instead wants to live her days in Switzerland. I do not blame her. If I tried to move to Switzerland, I'd be giving up an amazing job and it would be very risky. At the age of 20 I make about 30k a year which I know isnt amazing, but it's good for my age I believe. I'm not going to school at the moment, but instead am just saving money.
If we break up I will feel like absolute ****. She will always be in my mind and we would of never really had a good reason to break up besides the distance. I love this girl so much, and the time we actually are together we are both in absolute bliss. But the time apart is unbearable.. we simply can't do it any longer. I don't know what to do... and this is really all I think about. It's tearing me apart. I don't know what to do. It's affecting me so heavily. I've been so depressed recently, I'm eating very little, and I'm so angry that I can't see her. I hate seeing my friends with their significant others, or any cLong distance relationship problems/question. need advice...?
Hello long distance lover - Let me say that I know 100% of how you are feeling. I myself have a long distance relationship for 13 months now. Text me on yahoo messenger my id is ericab58. I would really love to talk to you on there.Long distance relationship problems/question. need advice...?
Real simple - commit or quit. True love doesn't need to be questioned and is never in doubt.
Oh, honey, I truly do feel where you are coming from. I've been in a long distance relationship going on two years now, and I fully understand how hard it is. But let me tell you, don't ever believe for a second that they don't work. Because when you find the one you love you make it work. That might be the hopeless romantic in me, but I've been living it for almost two years. You guys need to hash it out together, or at least decide on a time to have the big talk about where your going. Are you waiting until she finishes school? Thats the situation I'm in, I have two more years left until I graduate college. I think that once you guys have that talk, it will make you a little more secure in your relationship. And I'm online quite a bit of the time, and I understand how good it can feel to have someone to share your frustrations with, so if you ever need to talk, even though I don't know you lol, I'm here.
I definately know what you're going through-being away from the one you love is the hardest challenge I've ever gone through. You are right-you cannot go long distance for ever. So, it comes to the point where you have to realize that if this girl is worth giving everything up for happiness-for you two being together, that's what you have to put into perspective.
My fiance (marrying in a month and a half) is from Canada. We have been long distance for a little under a year-been together 2 1/2-3 years. For me, I took a chance to be with him. I realized that it was worth it to give pretty much everything up, and be with him. Now, since we're from different countries-we are getting married to be with each other. Once again I'm moving to be with him. I've come to realize that this is what I want in life. I want to be with him and pursue my life with him. I'm giving up a lot, but it really is worth it.
You have to realize what you want. I know it's really hard to decide. But for me, I realize what I would have been missing if I didn't make that chance. You two should talk about this, if you haven't already. I know it's a strained part in your relationship, but if you both are holding for each other-clearly there's something special there.
Why not look into going to school there? You say you're making money. For me, I had a good job that I let go to school in Canada. Because for me, money wasn't worth what I wanted and needed in life. But then it comes the question, if you do go there for school-what happens after school. It's a lot to put into perspective, trust me i know.
Think long and hard on this.
Don't let any stress between your relationship with her get in the way-no matter what happens fights always happen and you really just have to take a deep breath and realize the good things you have in your life.
Give up your life here in the states and run to her as fast as you can. You both need each other. Go be with her. Never pass up a love like that. The state will always be here your girl will not.
Wow! I was about to give up on reading all of this until I realized that you guys are totally in love! You should consider trying to find a way to move where she is. I know that you have a good paying job right now and believe me, that's more than I'm making a year, but I'm still surviving! If you are able to find a way to move where she is ask her to marry you and get married man! Then, move to Switzerland with her and live a happy life. *I recommend if you actually do what I'm saying search for the job and place to live first in Switzerland. Then, after you find the perfect place and job, (for right now), when she comes to visit that is the time to ask her hand in marriage. While you're doing all this, if the long sex wait is that much of a problem, you know masturbating isn't illegal you know!
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